Getting up at 4 am! ( Courtesy www.askenni.com )

I was told when young that getting up early is a good habit. The climate is cold, the air is pure, and according to Hinduism it falls under Brahma Muhurta when most saints across the world are meditating. So whatever you do getting up early would have good results on your body, mind and soul. But then I never could get up early when in school or in college. The last thing I would want was to get up early and study organic chemistry or calculus for that matter. I of course have tried it. I would get up, wash my face, take a book, take a bed sheet and then doze off. The simple reason was - I wasn’t interested in studies!

The change had to come. After I met my spiritual teacher in the year 2002 and started to learn astrology from him, I have been getting up at 4 am most of the days. My Astro class used to start at 6 am, and it was 1-hour bike journey from my place. I used to get up at 4 am, get ready at 5 am, and reach my teacher’s place at 6 am. So getting up at 4 am is not a problem for any of us, but then why do you want to get up so early is what matters!

In college days more than those boring Chemistry classes, I loved the NCC parades on Saturdays. And more than watching movies, I used to love my karate classes. These things made me get up early and made me be there on time always because these things interested me a lot.

Famous self-help writers have been telling that getting up early is about conquering mind, and that it is all about mind over matter, and people who don’t get up are lazy. This creates guilt in someone who wants to get up early, and is unable to do so. In the process, people pay up heavily and join gyms. They work out for couple of days, and then stop going to the gym. It is simple - when you aren’t interested in exercising how will you be able to get up early?

End of the day - it is something that interests you pushes you to get up early, and it has nothing to do with mind over matter or conquering your mind.

Given a choice most people would love to get up at 10, but then what if there is a final cricket match between India and Pakistan at 3 am? I am sure most Indians would get up early. It is simple because cricket interests us.

So you need not get up at 4 to meditate, you need not get up to jog or to squeeze yourself at the modern gym. Just take some time to think what interests you the most? It could be sports, it could be books, it could be gardening, it could be cooking, it could be taking pets for a walk, or it could be watching porn or having sex with your partner. Whatever it is – chalk it out, and go to the bed accordingly. You automatically will get up at 4 am. If you don’t find anything that interests you so much so to make you wake up early – just cuddle yourself in the bed, and sleep. There is no hurry or there is no need to worry – your getting up early won’t make any difference to the world. Just drop the guilt and have some sweet dreams.

All the best!

What to pray and what not! ( Courtesy www.askenni.com)

He was a staunch believer of Lord Ganesha. He neither would booze nor would he eat non-vegetarian food on Tuesdays. We never had any argument about the existence of God then. But today we argue everyday about the presence of God. I say He exists, and he asks me if He exists then show Him to me. My friend - then a staunch believer is an atheist now. But then reason for the transformation isn’t impressive. He prayed to God that he should get married to the person he fell in love with – the bitch ditched him, and he ditched God!

I was in my 8th standard when I used to adore a girl. She was slim, cute, and had hair like that of Dimple Kapadia – reason enough for me to fall for her. The irony was - she never knew I existed. I was just watching her everyday while going to the school, and I am not sure whether she ever gave me a look. The same year my father took us to Tirupathi Balaji shrine, and my only prayer to the lord was – I should get married to this particular girl. I never had any other worries in my life I guess.

Time passed by, and I moved to my 9th standard. And one day after a long gap I spotted the same girl. And to my astonishment, she had grown much taller than me – at least by a foot! I think when I saw her first she never had attained her puberty, and when she did she grew like a lamppost. She was slimmer and looked ugly. I thanked God for not answering my prayers!

Most of us think that God is sitting there jobless to answer all our prayers. If he doesn’t, we start questioning His presence. Try giving a list of requests to your CEO, and see how many he accepts and how many he rejects. When a mortal bugger like a CEO can reject your requests, and understand what is best for you and what not, how can God – the creator of the universe - doesn’t know what you should get and when?!

So instead of disturbing God by praying for too many things, just thank God for whatever he has already provided – for He knows perfectly what you deserve and when it should be provided!

The Guys' Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.
Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.